Red Flags in the First Meeting

The Ultimate Printable Checklist 

One single sentence, one single behavior – and you know immediately: Hands off, this won't work. This checklist is your personal fake detector: print it out, put it next to your phone, and check off every new message. Whoever has just one red flag is out – and you stay safe, save nerves, and find instead the real person who truly deserves you.

CategoryRed Flag = Out Immediately!Green Flag = Keep Talking
First 24 Hours Immediately demands nudes Greets politely, asks questions first
  "You must first prove you're worthy" Asks about your wishes and limits
  No profile pic or only dick/tit pics Real face pic (even if eyes blurred)
  "I'm your Master, from now on call me Sir" (without prior conversation) Uses normal address until you decide together
Video Call Completely rejects video call or always has "technical problems" Suggests video call themselves and does it
  Camera stays off, only voice or still image Camera on, shows face and surroundings
  Presses during call immediately for nude or masturbation Stays dressed, wants to talk first
Experience & References "20 years experience," but profile only 3 weeks old and without pictures Old photos from events
  Can't name any real person from the scene Names meetup, studio, photographers, friends
  "I don't need references, I'm real" Offers references (with consent of others)
Limits & Safewords "Real subs have no limits" / "Safewords are for beginners" Actively asks about hard and soft limits
  Laughs at your limits or tries to downplay them Respects every limit immediately
Meeting & Safety Wants to meet you immediately private or pick you up Suggests public first meeting
  "Just trust me" Accepts call-out person + check-in messages
  Gets angry when you demand safety measures Finds safety measures completely normal
Time & Pressure "If you were really submissive, you'd do immediately…" Respects your pace
  Threatens after 2 days "Then I'll find someone else" Understands that real dynamic takes time
General Behavior Constantly changes story (age, job, experience) Story remains consistent
  Becomes aggressive or insulting as soon as you set boundaries Stays polite and understanding
  Only has photos of tied women/men, but never of themselves Shows normal everyday photo + scene photos

red flag on dateBlock Immediately if Even One of These Red Flags Applies:

  • "Safewords are unnecessary"
  • "First you must send me money so I know you're serious"
  • "I'll collar you immediately / you belong to me now"
  • No video call after max 1 week of messaging
  • Gets angry because you want a public first meeting

Print Tip

Print this list and put it next to your phone/laptop. Simply check off every new message – whoever has three red flags is out immediately.

Whoever uses this checklist saves months of frustration and finds in 90% of cases a real, safe partner within 2–3 months.